Where's the Teabags, baby?

I grab a basket, and hit the first aisle,

Have they moved it around? Ain't been in a while.

Ah, there's the carrots, and I'll grab a cucumber, 

Weigh the bananas, print out the number.

Aisle 2 used to be meat, but now it's the dairy,

Swerve the deli counter, the prices are scary,

Dairy milk bar, chocolate orange be Terrys,

Er, where's the teabags, baby?

Now found the meat - pork, beef, or chicken?

The lambs on sale, so that's slim pickin's.

Rump or sirloin, medallions or chops,

Full joint with crackling, pull out all the stops.

No chicken thighs, go for the breast,

Wrapped in prosciutto, that'll be best,

Stop in the aisle for a few seconds' rest.

And where's the teabags, baby?

5 minutes lost, searching the freezer,

Another 5 minutes blocked off by some geezer.

Potato waffles, croquettes, and chips,

All those carbs'll go straight to my hips.

Into the tins, soup, tuna, and beans,

Then packet of cloths, new Mr Sheen,

Recycled bog roll, gotta go green,

But where's the teabags, baby?

Beers and wine. Vodka or gin?

Don't need oven gloves, no use for a bin.

List almost ticked off, let's hear it for planning,

Ten minutes later, and then I'm self scanning. 

Wouldn't you know it, forgot the damn clubcard, 

Still have to buy it, cos I'm old mother Hubbard,

Wave down the lady wearing the tabard,

Goddammit!

Forgot the teabags, baby.